Isn't this awful?

I'm still trying to figure my life out and unfortunately, it doesn't want to unravel. It's such a shame the world revolves around money... if creativity and imagination were worth cash, I'd... well, I wouldn't sell mine, but I'd probably rent it out for science projects, fashion shows, and design competitions. Be crazy to sell it, I worked so hard to build it.

So right now, I'm on the phone making that call nobody wants to make when they're grasping at straws, and still have to make a trip to that place nobody wants to visit when they're grasping at the aforementioned straws. It hurts bad, but that could also be hunger.

And what's up with the wait music? I hear it over and over again, but it's so blandly generic, I'm positive it couldn't possibly ingrain its melody into my gray matter without managing a hostage situation.

i hate weddings

Really. They take a lot of time to plan bridal showers for. I know I ended that sentence with a preposition, but trust me, that's the best grammar you're going to get out of me this week.

Dear Arizona,

You know, you've always been my go-to beverage when I had little or lots of pocket money and a thirst for power and fruit punch. But now that Brisk has come out with it's 24 oz. wallops of liquid, I'm torn. I know I've cheated on you, but I just can't help it. They offer lemonade all by itself. And mango with dragonfruit. And... peach iced tea.

Brisk and I have a relationship that... you just can't understand.

But you and I will always have Arnold Palmer... We'll always have Arnold.

Love, Brie

The Webb

The Webb seems to be working out very well. At least for me. I've been tinkering with it today, and I feel pretty great about the content going up. Granted, I don't have a lot of tutorials at the moment, but I do have lots of stories and photos.

And wow, I've never had to delve so far into my memory for html bits. My brain is mush. But today was a productive day, and tomorrow shall be, too.

Oh, wait, it IS tomorrow right now. Then yesterday was productive, and so shall be today. Also. Too. And. Including. As such. Hence.

Treebeard

OMC Work is so fun when you're listening to awesome bands rock out... It's like having an ice cream sundae with shards of sweet guitar jubilee inside of your ears.

Khayotikk's Wikkid Webb

Today, I'm announcing the birth of Khayotikk's Wikkid Webb. If you're a fan of my tutorials and projects, that's where you'll be able to find them. Maybe you think you've seen them all, but you never know what you may have missed.


Check it out today!:)

Jake likes water.

Jake is my little brother. Actually, he's Boyfriend's younger brother. He's an odd sort of dude with weird words and weird ways. And he likes water.

He just went into a four-minute shpiel about water and how awesome and amazing it is. He went on and on about it, and after awhile, it got annoying.

Granted, yes, water is fooken phenomenal. It cleanses and refreshes, especially today when the heat combined with the heat index was soulfully b*tchin', to say the least.

But his random object-love rants can go a bit borderline fanatic. "Pickles are cucumbers, at first."

Meanwhile, I like tea, and you've seen where that landed me, so I suppose we're in the same boat on that one.

Drink up, Jakee Bake.

Comfort Food Part II

This is how you make my kind of tuna sandwich:
3 cans of chunk light tuna in water
1 can of solid white albacore
Brown mustard
Yellow mustard
Mayonnaise
LOTS of honey mustard
4 sweet gherkins
Black pepper

Lay a good size glob on two slices of white bread and you've just won my heart. Perfect sandwich for a summer day.

Awolnation

I really liked the song "Sail", without having seen the artist. Then I watched the original video and the singer doesn't even match the voice. Am I the only one who feels this way? I expected somebody who looked like the vampire from the Fallout Boy videos. Or somebody who looks like Shaun Morgan.

That's just my thoughts on it.

Comfort Food Part I

Something about Panko breaded shrimp and cherry Crush makes me feel both luxurious and absurdly cheap at the same time. I almost feel like the soda outdoes the shellfish.
I'm sorry, but I'm not hungry.

Wow... What is Candice up to tonight? I feel like we shouldn't even guess, but assumption is frkkn bliss!!!

))<>(( That's the symbol for Manchester Transfer, right? I get confused about the buttcheek spacing. NO, don't Google that. But you're going to anyway.

SuperMemo

Have we as a nation collectively decided to completely disregard Superman III as a film? Don't raise your eyebrow; you didn't get the memo either, did you?

It's hot.

I expect that's to be expected, but the heat index is also high, and the humidity is, too... Now everybody feels like death and nobody wants to leave the house, which means I have to.
Remember when it snowed every Monday-Tuesday? I'm happy this is not snowstorms. Heat I can deal with.

I just wish there was SOME snow, because it would be frkkn awesome to eat snow on days like today.

Fun Fact:

The first thing I do when I hear a terrible noise through the window is check the time. Cops love when you know the exact time stuff happens. Nerds.

Fun Fact:

I'm probably one of the best friends to have and the worst to lose purely because when I walk away, I walk away with a vengeance. Nicely.

Guitar

"I think he's playing his finger flicker to prove he still has some talent to offer, 'so please, don't break our friendship contract, guys'."

Can you spell 'inappropriate'?

John just got airhumped during 'antidisestablishmentarianism'. Awesome night.

Work

I lift things up and put them down. I lift things up and put them down. Then on my knees, on my feet, on my knees, on my feet. It's cardio.

Waterfight

Today was a little bit crazy, but I supposed when your hot-blooded and soaking wet, you're gonna let off angry steam. WONDER BRIE ACTIVATE- FORM OF: FURY FIST!

Patriotism?

I must be pretty unAmerican, because I don't see what all the fuss is about. I frkkn love England. What? Gimme some more of that good old U.K.

I just bought my first domain.

And you're on it.

Cheers to www.Khayotikk.com

Waking Dream today...

I was napping for maybe an hour or less this afternoon and at some point, I had a really vicious waking dream. You know the type: you're laying there fully aware of the world around you, the sights, the sounds, the electric stimuli called touch.

During mine, I was presented with a harsh, roaring, rushing wind type sound that had nothing to do with breeze of the fan blowing behind me or the window being open. I had opened my eyes at least twice to be locked in on the scene at the right side of my paralyzed body. I could feel myself on the inside struggling to breathe, but was kept out of severe panic with the knowledge that my breathing was fine: unhindered and unencumbered. I could also recognize the voices coming from the other room, and at some point tried to speak, but I already knew that was futile, seeing as I've never been able to speak in my sleep before.

The sound was deafening. At some points while I was less willing to try to wake myself, the noise was less harsh. However, when I was trying to break out of the trance, the noise grew in intensity and I felt as though I was being punished.

Try as I might, I couldn't find my 'kick'. At first I believe I would eventually will myself awake. Then, I thought it would have been my attempt at physically screaming. It wasn't until I chanced upon the notion that I could be stuck like that forever that my brain received the traumatic punch in the face it needed to burst out of REM.

Scary stuff. But I'm used to it.

No hot guys, here, either.

This dude at the bar goes "This place sucks, where are all the hot chicks?" B*tch, even if you weren't rude, no hot chicks would want you. B*stardf*ck.

Larry

This man couldn't carry a tune in a beach tote, couldn't act his way out of a teacup, and can't play any instrument but the radio. But he dances like the wind.

The Mentalist makes me want to walk all hard and bad*ss... And question strangers on their whereabouts last night between 9p.m. and 1a.m.

Oh, this nurse again??

I have never been to a hospital so many times in a five-day period... I deserve so many Italian ices for effort... I love Italian ice. And gelati.

I am so incredibly tired... I feel like I've aged ten years in three days. I need just one night of sleep that doesn't feel rushed and in dread of morning.

My boyfriend just got hit by a car...

PacMan in the Wild

A glimpse at a year in my life: Excerpts from 2008

"From Tragedy to Triumph: The Tales of Baroness Brie"

Chapter 1: "Apex, Pit, and Plateau"
01/14/08
Speaking of dreams, I had one the other night about some kind of ward or something... I was kind of frantic because there was so much food and I was eating so much of it... cake and whatnot. Anyway, the significant part I remember is when I went up to this cart that had, like, breakfast cereal boxes. So I tried to pic one, but instead of cereal, there were snakes in the boxes. It was pretty crazy.

Chapter 2: "A Staggering Change of Pace"
03/07/08
Today is a tragic loss of happiness and I kind of want to kill myself a little. Work and a fall of insurmountably embarrassing proportions, home to take a nap and...
The nap just pretty much drained me of all my joy. It sucks.

Chapter 3: "What a Day For a Daydream"
03/27/08
I'm not sure why I refrained from telling you the best story there is to tell... And I'm not even sure if I should even tell you now. Perhaps is a fear that I'll jinx it. I mean, nothing between your pages leaks out, but saying it here makes things, I don't know, cement. I shouldn't be afraid to tell you, but I am. And when it's read in the future is the only time I'll even regret penning the words.

Chapter 4: "Broken Records Bear Repeating", or "How I Learned to Love Loneliness"
04-01-08
It's done. I'm glad. Once again, I'm on my own road with no hand to grasp. And it's really quite okay. I'm rather glad I didn't pour the details into your pages, as in the end, they weren't even worth it. What's done is done, and that's the way it should be. at least for now.
Moving on is easier when you're the one who wants to.

Chapter 5: "Happenstancism", or "Forty-three Ways to Change the World"
04/22/08 (about 2:30am)
My life is brilliant. My life is bold. My life is beyond all comprehension.
Unfortunately, my life starts tomorrow at about 9am, so sleep is trying to get some Brie and so am I.
Promises, promises to fill you in, but my status as a promise graveyard remains intact.

Chapter 6: "Inhale, Exhale"
05/07/08
Yeah, I like him, but honestly, there's no solid basis for me to start an infection of 'feelings'. I don't know. I guess it's better to let things roll and see where this ball stops.
I am so tired.

Chapter 7: "Phenomenon", or, "Doot doo doo-doo doot", or "Jacks In Boxes Don't Truly Know When Either"
05/29/08
The Stone Temple Pilots show was really good. I asked a random parking lot attendant for his hat, but it's job issued, so he offered me a hug instead. Cute, but a little odd. As though it wasn't odd for me to ask him for his hat. He crushed my body with the force of 75 wool sweaters.

Chapter 8: "An Object in Emotion"
07/04/08
I'm hoping I can do what I gotta do, but I don't even know what to do right now.

Chapter 9: "The Belly of the Beast"
07/09/08 (2:22am)
I went to Dunkin' Donuts for a coffee for MYSELF for the first time ever today. I was going to make tea before I left, but I couldn't find the Pyrex. So I drove to D&D's and grabbed an iced mocha latte with whipped cream.

Chapter 10: "Fate and Her F*ckery"
07/26/08 (2:20am)
He's changed, you know? I mean, maybe it's the way he's always been, and I'm less blinded, now, but things are definitely different. That freaks the sh*t out of me.
F*ck.
See the situation I've gotten myself into?
F*ck.
F*CK.
I don't know how things will go from here, but I know I'm walking a thin line.

Chapter 11: "From the Top to the Bottom", or "My Life As a WonkaVator"
08/29/08
I'm so over it. I'm impossibly over it. I'd have better luck standing in a field with a knitting needle to attract lightning if I want sparks in my life.

Chapter 12: "How to Kill Yourself By Living", or "Everything Seems Better In the Dark"
09/15/08 (11:05pm)
UPDATE: Wednesday
F*ckall McGall came in an hour and a half late for the sendback... and screwed up one of the counts so bad that I had to search EVERY tote to find the discrepancy. He's SO not getting any more pages.

Chapter 13: "Heated Discussions and Cold Stares"
10/15/08 (3:23am)
Sunday after work, I went to see City of Ember. Really great concept of a dystopic society under threat of doom. And my personal first encounter with a star-nose mole. I wish I didn't go alone, but I swear I was willing to clutch the leg of Creepy Trenchcoat Guy for positive reinforcement against fear.

Chapter 14: "Farewells, Hellos, and the Happy In-Between", or, "What I Learn From the Elevator of Life"
12/31/08 (9:10pm)
My apologies, but due to constant procrastinations and ill planning on my own two parts, you won't be finished this year. I'd really rather stay and finish. No, I really rather would. But a friend's a friend.
I love you, Cib.
I love you so dearly.

Ticking Time Bomb

Boyfriend says I'm like a really, really big bomb that has a really, really long fuse, and one day it's just going to be the last straw. Like, I suppose I've warned people that I only have so many straws and that I'm nearly out of them. I'm glad I gave that warning, because some people just don't, am I right? There they are, handing out their straws, and suddenly, they look down and there's only one in their hand. And then they want to get violent.

Not I. I have but seven straws left. Now I'll be selective about who gets them, but I'm just letting the world know I've nearly run out. Just be aware of that.

Unless you make potato soup. I can't really get mad at somebody who can manage a fine potato soup.

My Head Hurts...

I know I knew it before, and it's so funny that it still affects me, but every time my mother stresses me out, I start grinding my teeth in my sleep. Do you know how much force is exerted on your jaw when you grind your teeth? A lot of force. A lot of frkkn force. I don't remember the commercial for the mouth guards, but it's something like ten pounds or something. I'd be lying if I gave any number at all, but you get the point.

As I mentioned, I've been grinding my teeth at night, which makes waking up a real blast, you know? I just feel bright and cheery and full of love and sunshine and chirping birds are just flocking to my windowsill to sing at me in trills of frolicking joy. Yeah, I feel like THAT when I wake up.

So I'm stuck with this headache all the livelong day because I don't have 15 bucks to spare right now to buy a mouth guard, and I'm hoping I have the mental discipline to keep my tongue between my teeth like a mediator while I'm sleeping.

That's basically what I wanted to say.

Also, I can't believe I didn't catch a red zigzag under 'livelong', because who's used that term since... I don't know, Song of the South.

If you don't know what Song of the South is, maybe 'Zip a dee doo dah' will ring a bell?

REAL Diary Entries by Brie Patrick

In case you notice a year missing, I can't seem to find 2005... Blah.

07/08/01
Dear Diary,
I have to tell you, I've developed a very healthy obsession with Linkin Park and a very obsessive crush on Mike Shinoda. Oh mylanta. I am so into him. *sigh* Mike Shinoda, you are mine.

10-08-02
Dear Cib,
Today we had to take the senior group photo and it was so cold. I was huddled with Luis and squatting. You can so not have a fat girl squatting for ten plus minutes- it's not kosher. Then, after the pictures were done, our legs hurt so bad so me and Luis were totally leaning on each other all the way to the cafeteria.

12/?/03
Dear Cib,
I bought a TV w/ a DVD player (plus a few DVDs) that has a HEADPHONE JACK! Lol I'm now watching TV at medium blast at 5 in the morning and nobody even knows I'm awake. So speaking of DVDs, I got the LINKIN PARK: LIVE IN TEXAS CD/DVD set!!! It was only 20 bucks and I love them. The Numb video is soooooo gooooood, and Mike looks so good. And I got a $5 posterboard of them at Janna's job!!! I love Mike. Anyway, like I said, it's 5 in the morning. I should get to sleep. Oh My God!! I have the same keyboard as Mike Shinoda!!! Well... almost... his is a Korg Triton, mine is a Korg Trinity. I'm in love *sigh*. To bed now, said the Bamboo Princess.

Sunday, January 25, 2004
Dear Cib,
Rosie stopped by the other day. We caught up on each other's lives and stuff. The next day she came over with Zanayah. She is so beautiful. Who knew Andre could help make that? We went and visited Mr. Most and Mrs. Skoglund. Very cool. After that we stopped by to see Janna and spent a good couple hours there.

4/20/06
Dear Cib,
Happy 420? Sheena picked me up last night and we drove through Meriden. We drove down that street next to the mall and I saw some kind of dead thing and freaked out. We both freaked out. It was insane; hilarious and insane.

3/20/07 It's about 2 am.
Dear Cib,
I should be out cold by now because I have to work for ten thousand years tomorrow, and come 6 am, I'll be screwed for sleep. Screwed.
I made breakfast for dinner like 6 hours ago, so I'm baking a potato and arranging a hostile takeover of the remaining sour cream. I'm gonna go eat and go to bed. Tomorrow's gonna be stress out the yang.

03/22/08
Okay, I'm surprised that I'm not super disturbed by it, but obviously it's not my number one fear. I was woken up by a tickle on my hand. Immediately. I pretty much just yelled at the mouse that was running down my blanket and under the closet door. Punk.

Update:MONDAY 06/22/09
I don't remember much. I'm pretty sure I stayed home all day... worked on my skirt, finished it, and started a second. Finished that nearly, and then worked on a new tutu- tuck and tie- and then cleared that away for a new blood pillow from the crimson chenille blanket. So comf. Now much better blood pool quality. Stayed up all night.

12/02/10 (10:57pm)
Dear Cib,
I was outside and I saw my very first shooting star! Really cool. The ceiling is so clear and the heavens were just waiting to give me a gift. Beautiful. I'm now in perfect comfort with my tea and my bagel, and my fuzzy socks, and you. It can't go wrong, really, and I won't let it. Work tomorrow, then a nap with my Love.

LOOK AT MY BREASTS!!!

I just read my first comment ever (Thanks so much!) and if one person has read this blog, that makes my stories worthwhile, which is great, because I have another one:

Today, I went to Lane Bryant for the first time in about eight years. I really hadn't planned on buying anything, but the bras were on sale and you know how that is... Unless you don't need bras. Whatever.

Anyway, I bought two and immediately went to a dressing room to put one on.

It. Was. Amazing.

You don't understand, I have dirtymovieboobies, and they don't know how to behave in public, but this bra... wonders worked.

I was with my friend Pam, and she called over the doorway, so I opened the door, thrust my bust out and yelled "LOOK AT MY BREASTS!!! I didn't know they could DO this!!!" I flagged down a man ambling around, obviously waiting for his wife. "SIR!!! Look at my breasts!", I began to yell, when Pam hushed me for lack of modesty.

Then, basically, my genuine childish overexitement got the better of me as I proclaimed to every passing employee and female costumer "Look at my breasts!"

I don't know what's wrong with me. You'd think it was the first time I'd noticed having them, I was so psyched.

Anyway, that's my story today.